Mountains Part Two: Verbier, Via Ferrata and handsome young Danes

During a well deserved and delicious supper with Melody at Canteloupe where we feasted on a particularly tasty dish of feta cheese swathed in delicate sheathes of filou pastry and drizzled in local honey and cashew nuts, she told me about a remote lake, complete with its own refuge, high above a village called Fionnay and a walk you could do there via the track from La Chaux.  I decided it would be our destination for the following day’s excursion.

After bidding Melody a fond farewell and after an extremely nail biting and stressful never-to-be-repeated blind reverse out of her driveway, Tiggy and I drove up to Verbier and checked into Hotel de Poste. We were staying there as our lovely host was heading back to Newcastle for a wedding.

By 11am we were back again in the Medran bubble, ascending up to Fontenay once more where we warmed our legs up with a gentle stroll down the hill to La Chaux. The rain that had fallen yesterday had settled as snow on the higher ground – we were below the snow line, but the high mountain crests looked very wintery considering it was the end of July.

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The emotionally draining drama of marmot-gate from the previous day was firmly etched in my mind and so, much to her bewilderment, Tiggy remained firmly attached to her lead and was thus rendered physically incapable from disappearing off in high speed pursuit of any bushy tailed creatures.

Today I had two walking poles with me – further practice for Nepal trekking, and a first for me as the more forgiving and gentle inclines of the Isle of Wight have never required me to use more than one, if any at all. Having been taken aback by how cold it had been, I also had a couple of extra layers with me, some biltong and a snack bar, plenty of water and Tiggy’s collapsible drinking bowl.

Two walking poles and an energetic dog at the end of a lead were actually a bit of an exasperating handful, so after attempting more than a couple of fruitless dog lead/walking pole combinations, I threaded the lead’s handle onto the waist strap of my rucksack which left my hands free to ‘pole’ without being tugged whilst ensuring Tiggy remained steadfastly tethered.

Consulting both the signs and the walking map at La Chaux revealed two potential routes to Lac De Louvie. The track, as recommended by Melody, was a lower route and a ‘blue’ on the walking map. The other route, which already had a few hikers on it, was a red route on the walking map, a path that appeared to zig zag round the side of the mountain to reach the lake.

Quite why I ignored Melody who has lived in Verbier for most of her adult life is, with hindsight, something I’m slightly embarrassed about, (hubris perhaps?) but I did, and duly set off following the other walkers along the red route.

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We soon caught up and passed the two hikers who were having difficulty with the rocky terrain which had slowed them down to a snail like pace– apart from having to concentrate on where to put your feet the path was pretty horizontal and not particularly challenging at all.

A little further along, at a fork in the path, we bumped into a couple with their Labrador who were taking a breather. The view was so lovely that I stopped and asked them to take a photo of Tiggy and I. The lady kindly obliged, I enquired if they had come from Lac De Louvie – ‘mais non’ she replied, looking slightly startled and alarmed, ‘on a faisait une petit promenade’. Oh, I replied, “nous allons la”. She looked even more startled, saying she’d never done it, and that it was ‘tres dificile’, which she repeated a number of times, glancing at her husband to back her up, which he did by nodding slowly and sagely.

I smiled confidently, ‘ca va’ I said, emboldened by the ease of the path thus far and confident in the fact that we were on a route clearly marked on the map. Pleasantries concluded, we started on our way.

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The path wound on a gentle incline around the side of the mountain and we soon rounded the corner leaving the civilisation of Le Chaux and the Mont Fort cable car behind us. In the distance I could see two hikers, one with a bright red rucksack clearly making their way. The air was cool, but I had all my layers on and the effort of slowly rising upwards kept me warm. Low hanging cloud meant that the top of the mountain was shrouded in mist, but I could still see the snowline above us.

It wasn’t long before I caught up with the red-rucksacked hikers who were two young Danes called – I kid you not – Hans and Christian. They politely smiled at my fairy tale quip, but I couldn’t work out if they were bored of similar digs or they simply didn’t understand. They were on a ten day hike of the haute route, the infamous walking trek taking in high pass routes in Switzerland and France.

The boys were making way more slowly than us as they were carrying all that they needed with them. They, like Tiggy and I, were also bound for Lac de Louvie, except they wouldn’t be descending to Fionnay to bus it back to Verbier, they were going to spend the night at the lake in the refuge.

Lashed to their rucksacks they had carabiners, ropes and a harness each – which I remember thinking was probably a bit overkill for a hike, but I assumed they maybe perhaps needed to use them on other routes of the haute route.

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The gentle incline soon turned into a steep uphill slope and we were all, with the exception of Tiggy, breathing heavily (the boys especially so with the weight of their rucksacks); the effort arrested our amiable chat. I was glad of my double pole strategy, it definitely made navigating the challenging gradient a bit easier. It was certainly excellent practice for Nepal.

We feel into a natural cadence and order – Tiggy and I in front and the boys behind – Tiggy taking every boulder and slope in her stride, remaining absolutely resolute in her determination and desperation to err from the path in the hope of a chance to chase marmots.

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We walked in silence, up and up, and higher still; the snow line and clouds getting closer with every switchback. Looking ahead I could see some steep crevasses, covered in rockfall and scree, slicing deeply into the mountainside. My heart sank slightly when I realized that the path wasn’t traversing the side of the mountain all, but in order to successfully navigate the crevasses, we were going to have to go high enough so that we could cross either above them or at their narrowest point. This ‘red route’ was beginning to feel more like a black.

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The air temperature cooled further still and after about an hour and a half we found ourselves in the snow line – clouds rolling up the side of the mountain towards us, either enveloping us completely in its chilly cloak or dancing around us offering tantalizing glimpses of what was to come. Over a vertical mile down below in the valley floor it looked lovely and warm – I began to appreciate the appeal of the blue route.

At times the path was confusing, but for the most part it was pretty clear, flags painted on rocks along the way helped us, indicating that we remained on the correct route.

We came across our first major challenge, a landslide, after about two hours.

It was at the point in the walk when I was beginning to get a bit irritated, just as we turned another switchback and I thought, we must be at the top now, there was another one, and another and yet another. Mountain hikes are devilishly cunning in that way. I placated myself with the reassurance that this was, indeed, a great Nepal warm up.

I was slightly concerned about Tiggy, who had never been at altitude before, but she continued to bounce along, leaping like a bunny rabbit up over rocks and boulders and waiting patiently for me at the top of every one before trotting on ahead, pulling at my waistband with her lead.

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The landslide was at the top of the first crevasse we had to cross (yes, there was more than one). The unseasonal rain must have caused the path to slide away leaving a slippery slope of hazardous wet mud; it was a very, very steep gradient and a very long and extremely sheer drop to the side.

The boys, nonplussed, slipped off their rucksacks and quietly went about the businesses of attaching their harnesses and started to lay out one of their ropes.

“I go first” announced Hans, “Tiggy” he said, pointing at her “will go next, then you, and Christian will go last”. Ok, I said, smiling on the outside and feeling rather anxious on the inside, I thought I could just about manage, but how would Tiggy cope? Should I put her in my rucksack I wondered?

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Hans clambered like spider-man up the scree to the left of the mud slide, it was about one and a half storys high. He was clearly a competent climber and made it look marvelously easy. He lowered the rope with a carabiner on the end saying “this is for Tiggy”. I attached it to her harness and, keeping hold of the lead so she was tethered above and below, I bent down to pick up her to lift her as high as I could (not very high as it turned out, being only 5ft 3”). This was to try make it easier for Hans to winch her up – rather like someone being rescued by the RNLI helicopter from the sea.

Tiggy wriggled which made me nervous, and before I could even say ‘ok’ for Hans to take up the slack and start pulling, she’d managed to get all four paws onto the scree and, completely non-plussed, bounded up the sheer face like a little mountain goat. Once at the top she peered back over the edge as if to say ‘come on mummy, what’s taking you so long?’. We were all rather incredulous at how easily she’d sprung up such a tricky and steep incline.

The carabiner was unclipped from Tiggy and lashed around my waist, a hefty tug from Christian made sure all was secure. Heart in mouth (I’m strong and fit, but am no climber and have no experience at all) I took my time to secure each foot and hand as I made my way methodically up the scree to the sound of encouraging comments from Hans above and Christian below.

A few of the rocks skidded beneath my feet, but I made it without needing assistance from the rope. Shortly afterwards Christian arrived and we sat down for some water and a bit of a breather whilst the rope was coiled.

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“I definitely owe you guys a beer at the refuge”, I said. They smiled and explained that the walking route they were doing shouldn’t need harnesses, but they bought them to be on the safe side for moments such as these. They were only in their early twenties, I was so impressed at their maturity and how well prepared they were and extremely conscious that I was there – alone with a small dog – and whilst not ill equipped, I was certainly guilty of not having researched my route at all.

Therefore, I had no idea whatsoever what was coming up next.

After about another half an hour of further ascent a triangular sign with a red boarder stood out brightly in the mist; the image was of a rockfall and the warning was written underneath in four languages.  Poorly translated into English it said: “For the following 300m of the trail there is a risk of falling rocks.  It is prohibited to stop on the trial and deviating from the path is not recommended”.

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A sneaking thought entered my mind that perhaps I should turn back – but I was now over halfway to the lake, and I thought it would be safer and more sensible to keep going with the boys than to turn back alone. Plus the idea of going down the mudslide/scree without a rope as a failsafe in case Tiggy or I slid was not one worth entertaining.

Out came the harnesses again – this part of the path, which was no wider than two footprints had a sheer drop down the mountainside to the right, a Via Ferrata style chain to hold onto at waist height to the left, whilst whatever sinister danger hovered above was covered in clouds and impossible to see.

We all stashed our walking poles in our respective rucksacks. I made a makeshift harness out of a shorter piece of rope, impressing the boys with my nautical knots – who knew that a bowline would come in handy at 2500 metres in the Swiss Alps?

The safety rope went from Hans’ harness, to a carabiner which was attached to Tiggy, then to me and then to Christian. Slowly yet with an unspoken sense of urgency to get across promptly we inched our way along in silence– I kept my eyes firmly ahead, hand over hand holding the iron chain and taking up the slack in Tiggy’s lead. Clouds kept rolling up and over us, making the visibility very variable, that didn’t bother me too much, but the moisture in the air made the path, particularly the rocky parts, quite slippery. This was not a place to be less than very sure of foot.

Every now and again Tiggy peeped over the edge – a swift yank on the lead from me ensured she didn’t go any further, I think she was just being inquisitive – I couldn’t imagine this was a particularly hospitable dwelling place for any mountain animal, let alone a marmot who requires the ability to burrow into soft ground.

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We crossed in about fifteen minutes and on the other side we all breathed a sigh of relief. Then the clouds cleared and we looked back and caught sight of the perils that had been looming above us – a menacing overhanging cliff of granite from which spewed a tumbling ravine of rocks of all sizes. It was easy to appreciate how a landslide might happen – it was vulnerable, exposed and appeared somewhat unstable.
“I think I owe you two beers,” I said, laughingly.

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On we plodded – still ascending, until out of the mist we suddenly were standing on the narrow ridge of Col Termin (2,648m) – we had reached the top of the route! And from there, once round the narrow corner of the Col we could see down the other side of the mountain to the inky blue depths of Lac de Louvie (2,214m).

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It was a breathtaking view – probably made all the more so because it was because it was such an unexpectedly arduous a climb to get there. It’s so true the harder you have to work for something, the better you feel when you achieve it.

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We descended fairly rapidly – I was starting to become a bit twitchy and conscious of the time – the last bus from Fionnay left for Verbier at 5.20pm, it was already 3pm and it was at least an hour’s descent into Fionnay from the lake itself. Of course the boys were staying at refuge so it didn’t matter to them.

We wound down and around, and around and down. It’s a cruel trick of hiking that the uninitiated may be fooled into thinking that going up is the hardest part – and we’d been ascending steeply, non-stop for nearly four hours – but the reality is, it’s three times harder on your thighs to go down.

Gravity may keep us on terra firma and stop us from flying off into outer space, but it makes going down hill a lot harder as it accelerates the forward movement of your body,  meaning your quads have to work terrifically hard to keep you at a controlled speed. Someone once told me it’s rather like driving your car with the handbreak on.

We were descending 434 vertical metres to the lake below, which would take only an hour – conversely it had taken four hours to ascend a mere 388 vertical metres via 4 miles of torturous switchbacks and taxing traverses.

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We skirted round the edge of the lake – the snowy peaks from whence we came looming high above. I was fairly relaxed by now, it wasn’t far to Fionnay and we were on the homeward stretch.

One of my many regrets of the day was that I didn’t have time to treat myself to a wild swim in the lake.  Oh how invigorating it would have been to toast our arrival with a bracing plunge into its icy cool depths, I longed to float on my back, gaze up at the peaks above and take a few moments to bask in the contentment, and relief, of safe passage. I’m sure it would also have been great cold-water therapy for my muscles too, which weren’t aching…yet.

I made a mental note to return another time with a swimming costume and an overnight bag and treat myself to a night’s stay at the refuge although, of course, it was not without some chagrin that I wouldn’t be guaranteed the company of two disarmingly handsome young Danes.

We collapsed euphorically at the refuge (2,214m) and I kept good on my promise of an extremely well deserved round of beers. I can’t begin to tell you how good they tasted! Tiggy had a little paddle, a long drink from the fresh water trough and some of my biltong. I wolfed down my snack bar. Glancing at my watch I saw it was already 4pm and time for us to go.

The signpost said it was 1 hour 10 minutes to descent to Fionnay, nestling snugly in the bottom of the valley a reasonably hefty 724 vertical metres beneath us.

After a slightly smelly but very warm and heartfelt hug with the boys and a tickle for Tiggy, we waved goodbye to our walking companions and unassuming heroes. Whether it’s sharing a connection over poorly dogs, as I’d experienced in Spain when Tiggy swallowed a stone, or bonding over a challenging hike, my gap year really has reaffirmed my view that the majority of human beings truly are kind, generous and good, and that we share far more in common with each other than we have differences dividing us.

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I’d like to say it was a pleasant and meandering stroll down to Fionnay – but actually it was an hour and fifteen minutes of extreme thigh burn and screaming knees, even the magnificent views of lakes, dams and glaciers didn’t and couldn’t make up for how much my legs and knees hurt. We’d been walking for five hours by then and, all in all; the top of Col Termin to Fionnay was a total descent of 1,158 vertical metres (0.72 miles). Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch.

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I reckon we must have been about half way down when the striking blue lake of Fionnay came into view. The stunning turquoise colour comes from glacial flour, created when rock underneath the surface of the glacier is ground into very fine sediment that runs off with the melt water in spring into rivers and lakes. Glacial flour is so fine and light it stays suspended in water for a long time and, when the sunlight reflects off the floating flour on a lake, it creates a dazzling turquoise hue. It really has to be seen in person to fully appreciate the richness of the water in all its glory; photographs, even with an Instagram filter, don’t do it justice. I ran out of time to even take even the hastiest of snaps, so this photo is borrowed from one of Melody’s portfolio.

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(c) Melody Sky photography

Looking at my watch it was 4.50pm, we had only 30 minutes to get down and find the bus stop – we were cutting it more than fine. I reckoned just by eye-balling the path, we were only about half way down.

Tiggy was still attached to my waist strap, but now instead of striding out in front, she trailed behind me. Her short legs must have been absolutely spent at this point. Picking her up, I put her in my rucksack and hoisted her onto my back – her little head sticking out and resting on my shoulder. And then, with an extra 8 kilos of load, I started to jog down the hill. If my thighs were burning during the first half of the descent, they were now absolutely screaming and my knees were extraordinarily painful.

 

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It got warmer and warmer as we descended – a drastic difference from the icy cool snowy and misty peaks above – sweat streamed down my face. We must have been quite a sight – me, as pink as my t-shirt, puffing and panting and Tiggy’s foxy face peeping out of the top my rucksack. I’m sure she would have been ok to keep going on all four paws, but I was worried she might implode if I made her run down after already having walked so far – Tiggy is super fit, but also such a loyal and devoted companion, she’d keel over and die before she would give up and stop following me.

Of course, if we missed the bus from Fionnay I could have arranged a taxi I’m sure, but I’m reasonably confident that a 20k winding trip in a Verbier cab would have more than blown my daily budget. I was pretty jolly keen to get on that bus.

Given that we were out of the clouds, it would have been wonderful to be able to saunter slowly down, stop and admire the view – the impressive glaciers, the intense blue hues of the lakes, the richness of the foliage and the vast variety of alpine flowers. Not today! Twist after twist and turn after turn, I kept on jogging, very thankful for having ‘double poled’ as at least they helped take some of the impact from my poor quads and knees.

I could see a small group gathering on the roadside beneath us, I assumed that must be the bus stop – my watch said seven minutes to go and I could see that I wasn’t going to make it if I kept to the snaking path. Jogging more rapidly I ignored the switchbacks and took the direct line of flight straight to the gate – the steep incline wreaking even more agony on my creaky knees.

The bus came into view at the far end of the village. I waved my poles in the air to the crowd at the bus stop and puffingly shouted ‘Arretez le bus, s’il vous plait’. No one even lifted a hand to acknowledge my plea, at this point, I was pretty sure I was stuffed.
The ground finally flattened out, my jog turned into as fast a run as my knees would allow, Tiggy bouncing uncomfortably in my rucksack behind me. The bus pulled up, the small crowd jostled to get on.

My lungs burned. I tripped over my feet but managed not to fall. I caught the eye of the driver as the last person was getting on – he held the door open for me as five seconds later I arrived. Totally spent and unable to speak, I nodded a grateful thank you as I heaved my tired limbs up the steps onto the bus. I flopped into the front seat and gulped down all that was left of my water, saving a mouthful for Tiggy who, as soon as she was freed from the confines of my rucksack, curled up on my knee and went straight to sleep.

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I leaned my forehead against the window as the bus wove its way down the valley. I looked up to the dizzying heights of where we had come from – still blanketed in cloud, it was almost unfathomable to believe how cool it had been up there, it was so scorching hot down in the valley.

The bus deposited us in Le Chable then, as the bubble had already shut, we waited for another bus to take us up to Verbier. I finally opened the door to our hotel room just before 7pm, I was wrecked and boy, was I smelly! Tiggy was fed a very generous portion of kibble for supper whilst I wallowed in a bath until the water started to go cold. Post bath I stretched my legs out in a variety of gentle yoga poses, hoping beyond hope that this would help reduce the almost certain onslaught of stiff and sore muscles the next day.

We had walked over 11 miles, taken 27,784 steps and climbed 163 floors. Distance wise, that’s longer than any single day I’ll be doing in Nepal – except there the challenge will be the altitude and not just the distance.  In Nepal I’ll be averaging an altitude of 4,200m where the air has 50% less oxygen than at sea level; the highest point I’d been to in Verbs was 2,650 where oxygen levels are just over 70% of that at sea level.

Melody had, thankfully, fed me a substantial breakfast of smoked salmon and scrambled eggs – so I had been well fortified for my unexpectedly challenging and long hike – but apart from that, the only things I’d had eaten all day were a snack bar and half a packet of biltong. I was ravenous.

It was a pleasant and blissfully short stroll out of the hotel and up the hill to Verbier’s infamous Fer a Cheval, scene of many boozy apres ski adventures. There, I perused the menu whilst gulping down more water and sipping on an ice-cold glass of dry white wine.

Tiggy curled up on my puffa on the bench next to me and continued her restorative snoozing. A friendly, local ex-pat couple on a neighbouring table came over to fuss over Tiggy and enquire what bought us to Verbier. I explained the rationale behind vising friends and getting my legs fit for Nepal. That naturally took us onto converse about the day’s hike – when I told them what we’d done they were really impressed. They couldn’t believe Tiggy had managed it, I was both pleased and relieved we’d done it, but still had an internal niggle of guilt that I had risked stretching little Tiggles beyond her physical capabilities.

I asked them what they’d recommend to eat. ‘The lasagne’ the chap replied ‘but you only need a half portion’ the lady added ‘it’s really big, we’ve just shared one’. I didn’t have the energy to explain that I hadn’t eaten for eleven hours – so I just said thank you and ordered a full portion along with a token side salad.  I ate every single delicious morsel, if licking the plate was socially acceptable, I probably would have done that too.

It can’t have been more than fifty steps downhill from the Fer a Cheval back to the hotel – every single one was agonizing.

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Getting out of bed the next day was somewhat of a comedy affair; I commando rolled like a beached whale onto my tummy and shuffled my legs off first, face down and with my torso still on the bed, I pushed myself up to standing so that I could try a few tentative steps. Actually it wasn’t bad at all! Walking out of my hotel room I was hugely relieved that my legs definitely felt weary and a bit stiff but not nearly as bad as I had thought they would be.

And then I attempted to descend the three flights of stairs from my bedroom to reception; a meager three steps down proved so painful that I had to turn around, come back up and somewhat shamefacedly push the button to call for the lift.

A hearty breakfast of crepes and coffee was thoroughly enjoyed on the sunny terrace of the Milk Bar, and then we could dawdle no longer.


Time to climb back into The Beast to commence our long drive back up through France. As a regular reminder of the prior day’s escapade, clambering down and hobbling round to the passenger side to pay the toll at every peage was utter agony.

The five hour drive back up through France offered plenty of time for musing and rumination; it was an arduous hike but not impassible or impossible. If I hadn’t been up against the clock it would have been a lot easier, and the walking map was scant in details as to the difficulty of the route. It was demanding, but certainly far from the hardest trek I’d ever done. I’m usually a cautious and careful person when it comes to matters of safety, so whilst we were never truly in grave danger, I was definitely a little bit unsettled by the escapade.

Why had I ignored the route Melody had recommended, as well as not heeding the advice from the local couple walking their dog?

On reflection, the beginning of both the blue and red run looked beguilingly similar and un-taxing. A subsequent conversation confirmed Melody had recommended the blue route more for Tiggy’s sake than mine. I’m a very contrary person and when the local couple said that the red route was very hard, the obstante part of me looked at them (they were quite a lot older than me) and assumed that their yardstick for ‘hard’ was different from mine. I’m particularly of the mindset that when someone tells you something shouldn’t be done; it’s more a reflection of their limitations and not yours.

Hmmmm.

In Nepal, thankfully, I will be led by guides who are always to be obeyed and I’ve read enough about disasters at altitude and in the Himalaya to gladly acquiesce any decision making to those far more knowledgeable and experienced than I.

The Alps have taught me a number of important lessons before heading out on much more challenging adventures. As Sir Edmund Hillary so aptly said

“It’s not really the mountains we have to conquer, but ourselves.”

Chapeau, Sir Ed, chapeau.

Choose happy – heed the advice of locals (except for portion sizes on lasagna) and always befriend handsome young Danes.

Love, Sophie, Tiggy and The Beast XOX

La Chaux 2,260m to Col Termin 2,648m = 388metres (0.25 vertical miles up)
Col Termin 2,648 to Lac Louvie 2,214m = 434m descent (0.27 vertical miles down)
Lac Louvie 2,214m to Fionnay = 724m descent (0.45 vertical miles down)
Col Termin to Fionnay = 1158m descent. OUCH (0.72 vertical miles down)

Everything is temporary – why I won’t be getting a tattoo and five other things we’re avoiding on our gap year…

I have a list as long as my arm of things I want to and will do during my eternity leave: learn to kitesurf; do a handstand at Everest Base Camp; learn to play the guitar; write this blog; go ski-touring with Tiggy; have a lot of fun with friends old and new; keep an open, curious and playful mind – and so it goes on.

I’m also conscious that there are a barrel load of cliches that I could fall into if I’m not careful.  I’m sure you know what I’m mean – middle aged woman goes travelling and comes back having found the Meaning of Life whilst cleaning toilets ten days into a silent retreat at an ashram in India (with humble apologies to any of the toilet-cleaning ashram goers amongst you).

Now, this list of ‘Shan’ts, Can’ts and Won’ts’ is clearly completely and utterly subjective – one girl’s trash is another girl’s treasure and so forth.   So do take the list below with a pinch of proverbial salt, although I hereby grant you complete permission to keep me honest on them.

  1. Get a tattoo
    I’m writing this on the assumption that you, like me, are a staunch believer that David Beckham is one of the most beautiful people on the planet. But even he, I fear, is in danger of becoming over-inked. (And isn’t it interesting how VB appears to be zapping hers as fast as DB is adding his.)
    It’s not that I’m against tattoos, far from it in fact, some are undoubtedly incredible works of art.  It’s just whenever I think of middle aged women and tattoos, images of Pamela Anderson’s barbed wire, Cheryl Cole/Tweedy/Whatever’s bottom and Sporty Spice’s crucifix all pop into my mind.  Please don’t tell me that none of them have had buyer’s remorse.  I change my mind five minutes after a cut and blow dry, so heaven only knows what I’d be like after acquiring a permanent fixture.
    I’m also totally squeamish, a complete wimp and hate the sight of blood. Ergo, I think I’m pretty safe on this one.  I had a lovely gold foil one in Ibiza once which lasted a perfectly perfunctory three days.

    Everything is temporary
  2. Hire a vespa
    And ride it in shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops. I had a Vespa once, it was lovely; in dashing plumb (I know, surprising, not pink), with a top box and hand warmers (I feel the cold).   I used it to commute when I worked in north London. At the time it was very practical, my daily scoot took 25 minutes compared to 40 minutes on my bicycle and an hour on the tube – it was a no brainer really.
    I haven’t ridden it since 2008 after I fell off going three miles per hour on the pavement outside my house and hurt my leg. And there it stayed, mainly functioning as an adventure playground for spiders, until it was uprooted to star in a Jack Wills autumn window display.
    So, after  an ‘ouchy’ in the form of a badly bruised thigh, I’m Captain Sensible when it comes to all things scootie now.  Bare skin and gravelly tarmac at speed are never going to be friends, and for us, it’s two feet and four paws or four wheels on terra firma all the way.
    Dog in Jack Wills landrover
  3. Obsess over what I miss from England and whinge about foreign alternatives
    The only allowable exceptions are: Tetley tea (I’m safe on this one as I bought 500 bags with me) and my friends (again, also safe as that’s what Facebook, What’s App and Insta are for).  Although I do like a splash of milk with my tea – WTF is it with foreign milk?Cup of tea in Tarifa
  4. Try to be ‘cool’
    I’m 45 years old, I’m really quite square and I’ve never, ever been cool. Personally I don’t think there’s anything more cringe than someone trying to be something they’re not.
    Examples in my list include: braiding my hair, taking hallucinogenic drugs, getting anything other than my ears pierced and wearing any of the below:
    a) dungarees
    b) indigenous knitwear from Nepal
    or
    c) tie-dyed, floaty kaftans from Tarifa (with accompanying jangling necklaces, bracelets, toe rings etc).
  5. Buying lots of stuff
    I love shopping – especially clothes and shoes – and even after a huge clear out I probably still have more anyone really should and certainly more than I need. I really hope my god-daughter grows up to have size five and a half feet, otherwise there’s a beautiful collection of eye watering-ly expensive footwear going to go to waste.  So, my golden rule is – only one thing a month – no local tut and no going over my weekly budget.  The only exceptions are purchases genuinely required for my pursuits – kitesurfing, hiking in the Himalayas, guitar paraphernalia and ski gear.

This is just my list, I’m sure everyone’s would be different.  Have I missed anything? Remember, at the end of the day,  the world’s going to judge you no matter what you do, so you may as well live life the way you want to…

Choose happy!

Love, Sophie, Tiggy and The Beast X
P.s Paws for thought
Tiggy has added two criteria: no going on the beach when the Sand in Eye factor is above 5/10 and when the wind is gusting over 30 kts can everyone please stay on their leads so they don’t get blown away.  Thank you 😊 img_3633-2

Swim when you’re winning: because only dead fish go with the flow

Forward:  Don’t read this unless you want to find out the best private members clubs to swim in London, what it’s like to share a mixed sex changing room at the Serpentine Swimming Club or why open water swimming is so wonderful…it’s not a short post, perhaps put the kettle on, forearmed is forewarned!


So…there is swimming in public pools with chlorine, verucca plasters floating past your face, pubic hairs in communal showers, draughty and cold changing rooms and hair dryers that don’t have enough puff to blow out a candle.

And then there is swimming in pools housed in the exclusive enclaves of London’s private members clubs.  In my experience the best private pool in London for actually enjoying a long and therefore decent swim is the RAC Club on Pall Mall.  Built in 1911 on the site of the old War Office, hidden four storeys below the pavements above, with Grecian columns, lofty ceilings, a marble clad surround and Turkish baths, it’s surely the forefather of the bourgeoise basement extensions belonging to its modern day neighbours in the mansions of Kensington and Mayfair.

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It can be a bit stuffy though and any club that has a men’s bar, ladies’ lounge (oh come on, join the 21st century please) and very strict dress code (jacket and tie, no denim) is never going to be top of my hit list.  I also find their iron-clad dress code slightly ironic as, back in the very earliest of days when it was a gentleman’s only club, my father tells me that the men used to swim naked.   The mind boggles, clearly it was ok to be bare below the stairs, but fully suited and booted above.  Oh if those Grecian columns could talk…

The coolest pool in London I have swum in is the stainless steel rooftop pool of Shoreditch House.  There isn’t a dress code there, except that ties specifically are not allowed, but if you’re a bloke and don’t sport a beard, skinny jeans and the latest stan smiths then you might feel a tad out of place.

Personally I like swimming in the ‘Ditch best in the winter evenings – the skyline of London twinkles around you, the air outside is cold, the pool is consistently maintained at a pleasantly warm 26 degrees, almost always empty, and the showers and cocktails are heavenly (if in doubt, go for an Eastern Standard).

The only downside is that even though it’s twice the size of the postage stamp pool at Soho House New York – which I tried to swim in once and gave up after it took only to two strokes to go from one end to the other – it’s really not long enough to have a truly decent swim.

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Poncy private club pools aside – there is then the grand-daddy of them all – Open Water Swimming.  The modern day version of open water swimming is said to hark back to May, 1810 when Lord Byron swam across the Hellespont, (or Dardanelles) from Europe to Asia.

Born with a club foot, it is said that Byron found a freedom in the water that he could not experience on land.  Doing breast-stroke, he swam the Hellespont in an impressive hour and ten minutes – it’s now the busiest (and one of the most polluted) shipping lanes in the world, ergo it’s sadly lost its poetically romantic appeal to me.

From a health point of view, open water is claimed to be the best type of swimming for you, it boosts your immune system, gives you an endorphin high, increases your libido, reduces stress and improves your circulation.

From my point of view, swimming in open water turns the activity from a somewhat dull and tedious exercise into a mellifluously meditative and memorable experience, with each swim as unique as the weather, flora, fauna, sea-life and water patterns permit.

Yes, it can take your breathe away when you first get in, but if you exhale slowly and lower yourself gently and gradually into the water, then it soon goes.  Remember, everything is temporary, and all things shall pass.

Once I’ve set off, an almost somnambular sensation sets in as I slide, glide, pull and gently weave my way through the water.  As soon as I’ve dropped into the rhythmic breath required for a steady stroke (which must be no different to yogic or mindfulness breathing exercises), combined with the feeling of weightlessness, my consciousness expands, and either ideas float out of no-where or my brain empties of all thoughts apart from an awareness of what is above, beneath and around me.

Swimming is my meditation, my breath is my mantra, and many a problem has been solved as I’ve slipped through the water in silence.

Pre-eternity leave (PE) and back in the day when I had a proper job, I used to swim in the Serpentine two or three times a week.  Wetsuits were frowned upon, so I wouldn’t go if the water was colder than a bone chilling and hypothermia inducing 8 degrees celsius.  This meant I was mainly confined to the months of March to late October, or the occasional balmy day in November.

There’s something very unique and special about swimming in the Serpentine – it’s the oldest swimming club in Great Britain, you’re surrounded by the peace and tranquility of Hyde Park in the centre of the loud and bustling metropolis that is London, and what’s more, you swim amongst the fish, ducks and swans (and rats too, I suppose, although I never saw one, so took the approach of ‘out of sight, out of mind’ ).  Imagine looking up to take a breath of air and seeing a swam majestically take flight alongside you – it really is breath-taking.

My favourite time of year to swim there is spring: the daffodils, snowdrops and crocuses are out, the birds are chirping and tweeting in the trees and importantly, it’s also before it’s warm enough for the algae to grow; the water is clear, you can see the pike swimming below you and you don’t get an itchy rash from the grim, green slime that somehow manages to work its way into every crease and crevasse as well as sticking to your swimsuit during the summer months.

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It’s not just the cold water and itchy algae that one has to come to terms with at the Serpentine Swimming Club though, it’s also the challenge of the Changing Room.  NB: that’s not a typo, the noun ‘room’ really is singular and not plural and size wise it’s about 10 feet wide by 15 feet long – with no shower or cubicles of any kind.  There are just pegs to pop your clothes on and a kettle in the corner for a restorative and much needed post-swim cup of tea.

You might think that swimming in eight degrees cool water is a pretty intimidating thought, but imagine walking into a room at 6.30am to be faced with the reality of having to take your clothes off in front of ten to fifteen semi naked men.  It’s certainly not for the prudish or faint of heart, unless, of course, you’re a nudist in which case you’d be right at home.

There tend to be two types of changers in the clubhouse, those who hide demurely behind huge towels, turning their backs to the room and doing everything possible to keep accidental intimate flashes to a minimum and then there are the posh old boys I nicknamed the “Free Willys” (always the men, never the women), who put one leg up on the bench to towel off their nether-regions and all the while chortling loudly ‘wouldn’t it be easier if we just all went in naked’.

I suppose you’ve got to admire their confidence, as no man’s manhood looks particularly impressive after a twenty minute dunking in icy water. My technique was huge towel, eyes down at all times, easy pull on/off clothes, and get the hell out of there as fast as possible.

The Serpentine Lido is open from May to September, do put it on your bucket list, you won’t be disappointed (and, unlike the clubhouse, the Lido has hot showers and single sex changing rooms).

Other open water swimming experiences I’ve loved have been: from the beaches of the Isle of Wight, that little upside down triangle of magic I call home; in the stunning fjords, caves and grottos of Montenegro; a 7am swim in the remarkably icy June waters of Martha’s Vineyard (home to Jaws, the movie); and from the beautiful beaches and in the tidal pools surrounding Sydney – sharks and jellyfish aside – probably my favourite place in the world to swim so far.

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It will come as no surprise for you to read that I am sea swimming regularly here in Tarifa.  The water is currently a cool and pleasant 16 degrees and curiously, although I have yet to find a local who can explain why, the Mediterranean side of the harbour is cooler than the Atlantic side.

The sea is crystal clear, I see shoals of fish, both big and small along with the occasional crustacean scuttling back to safety in the nooks and crannies of the rocks that line the harbour walkway.

The walkway wall provides much needed shelter from the prevailing winds and the current there is a mere gentle tug as opposed to any dangerous rip – getting sucked out to sea here would not be good idea as the next landfall west is North Carolina and you’re bang slap in the middle of the migratory path of great white sharks, killer whales and orcas.

The lovely thing here of course is that post swim, I can soak in the sun on the beach to warm up (16 degrees still means you emerge with goosebumps) – the case of a dose of vitamin sea ensuring I get my vitamin D.

The golden sand is warm, and lovely and soft to lie on, and midweek I’m often on the beach on my own.  I bask in this post swim solitude, as I slowly drift back into the real world from my swimming-semi-conscious-state.

Once I feel the warmth of the sun on my bones, I have a big stretch, gather my senses along with my clothes and head back for a cup of tea and a cuddle with Tiggy.

This week I swam on both Tuesday and Thursday at noon.  As I warmed up on the beach afterwards my mind wandered to what I would have been doing if I was back at home working now.   Oh how easy it would have been to tread the well trodden path, find another job and continue on the treadmill of career ascension.

Tarifa Harbour open water swimming
I reminded myself that there’s a reason only dead fish go with the flow, it’s the same reason birds take off against and not into the wind – it gives you greater control to steer to your destination, or perhaps even your destiny.

Why then, do so many of us spend so much of our lives always going with the flow?  Of course, there’s always a time and a place for everything and running with the tide can oft provide much needed respite, life certainly needs to be more than just one long battle.

For now, I’ve decided it’s best not to argue with mother nature, and I’m winning as I swim with the fishes against the flow.  My unexpected redundancy has taught me that sometimes you need to be bold and strong, to strike out on your own, take a deep breath and swim into unchartered waters.  And I have never before felt with more certainty that I’m doing exactly the right thing.

Choose happy.

Love, Sophie, Tiggy and The Beast X

p.s Paws for Thought
Tiggy has had her first swim – it was completely accidental – but all four paws definitely left the sand!  Until now she’s always been utterly petrified of water, so even little Tiggy is making great strides and learning new things on her gap year, but she’s says to tell you that she’s fed up of naughty local dogs pinching her bouncy balls on the beach.

Doggy paddle - dog swimming in Tarifa

 

All the gear, no idea: learning to kitesurf #LikeABoss

Let’s be clear – I absolutely love the water, I am a water baby, in a previous life I was possibly a dolphin and Finding Nemo is one of my favourite films ever.  I am a seriously ok sailor, a pretty competent long distance open-water swimmer, I can sort-of surf and I could windsurf (at a push, if required, under duress).  All of these require a reasonable level of strength, skill and stamina.

None of them, and I mean, none of them come close to how hard it is to master kitesurfing.  I keep being told that Tarifa one of the hardest places in the world to learn to kitesurf, but that doesn’t really help when you’re being washed up on the beach for the umpteenth time.

Kitesurfing how hard can it be

The wind here is so powerful (averaging 30kts) and the waves are so big (all the more so when you’re only 5ft 3″) with a strong current, that even getting into the water alone is quite a physical feat.   And all the while holding a not un-heavy board in one hand and flying a six or eight metre kite on the end of 25 metres of string with the other hand; a kite which ducks, dives and cartwheels around in the sky like a peregrine falcon on acid.

You then have to lie down in the water, keep the kite aloft with one hand, secure the board to your feet with the other, and stay afloat with waves breaking over your head.  Your eyes sting, half the sea goes up your nose and you still have to keep that bloody peregrine falcon under some semblance of control.

Gasping for air, spluttering and blinking furiously, the next stage is to power up the kite whilst you’re semi-submerged and generate enough power to propel you out of the water with a forward momentum, but not too much to send you flying.

Kitesurfing let's go

It’s is good job that I am a water baby, as I have been washed up on the beach face down, face up, head first, feet first, and if I didn’t have a wetsuit on, I’d probably have been washed up inside out too.

The internet is full of “hot babes” kitesurfing in string bikini bottoms and triangle tops – these surely must be either superglued in place or they’re merely click bait fodder.

There’s an awful lot to be said about what an empowering sport kitesurfing is for women, particularly as once mastered, it is a sport of skill and technique rather than mere brute strength and balls, but this is not a sport where one tends to look ones best, particularly when learning.  It’s definitely more drowned look than wet look – and let’s be honest here, a wetsuit is friend to few middle-aged females (and men too!).

Stoicism, though, is one’s friend when learning to kite.  As is pig headed determination and a smattering of tenacity.  And a massage.  And arnica.  And alcohol.

A major breakthrough today!  I rode for thirty metres to port and it was AMAZING!  And then a big gust came, the peregrine falcon puffed and yanked me into the air, dragging me about 20 metres along the water – leaving my board, which had turned turtle whilst smacking me in the shins for good measure, somewhere upwind behind me.

It was my first jump, my teacher said.  I’m really not sure I should repeat what I said.  I submarined to starboard.  It took me fifteen minutes to body drag to retrieve my board.  I have five new bruises and a little nick on the sole of my foot which is exasperatingly tender.

As one of my friends says, it is definitely character building.  I have got this.  I can do this.  I will own this.   Just please god, let it be soon…

Reassuringly, everyone I have met in the the kitesurfing community has been utterly helpful, supportive and lovely.  I have to believe this is because the learning curve is so high it weans out all the wankers along the way and thus the sport self selects only the very best of people.

Kitesurfing wankers need not apply
Tonight though, with tender arms, a bruised ego (and thighs), aching bones, half the sea still coming out of my nose and really attractive red eyes, I’m going to go out and get rip-roaringly drunk with my friends…because somedays there comes a time that, no matter what challenge or conundrum you’re facing, the answer is always ‘more wine please’.

And I will go to bed, utterly trolleyed, with a huge smile plastered across my face because this is the life I have chosen to live and I’m living a life I love.

Choose happy.  Love, Sophie, Tiggy & The Beast X

P.S: No, Tiggy doesn’t come kitesurfing, she stays at home and listens to the radio or has a playdate with her boyfriend, Filipo the boxer, who lives downstairs.  And The Beast is making lots of new friends too.  He’s particularly fond of this fire engine…

Vintage Land Rover series ii and fire engine

This is it, adventure awaits…

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

Dr Seuss

On a crisp and bright Monday morning six months ago, in a sun drenched office and in the very briefest of conversations, I was made redundant.  It was a total shock and completely out of the blue; one minute I was on a packed commuter train, running late for an early meeting, the next I was in an empty carriage homeward bound, more than a little dazed and wondering what on earth to do with myself for the rest of the day, let alone the coming weeks and months of my gardening leave.

The first week was taken care of as I spent most of it having a minor meltdown – panicking about what on earth to do next, especially as I was on the verge of signing up to a huge new mortgage to buy a very small mews house in Notting Hill.  I also really missed my team – they made a reasonably stressful job utterly delightful, and I hadn’t been able to say goodbye to any of them.  It was a bit like being dumped by a boyfriend and knowing he was still going to see all of your friends, all of the time, but without you.  My heart was tinged with sadness.

After a little over a week of wallowing in self pity, drinking lots of tea and fixating over motivational quotes on Instagram (which, let’s face it, simply gets rather dull and far too worthy after a while), I decided to take the bull by the horns and use this opportunity to completely change my life.  I just didn’t feel ready to throw myself back into the corporate world and all that it entailed, in fact I felt queasy at the mere thought of it.  Hello eternity leaveSometimes, I thought, you just have to throw everything up into the stars and see where fate determines you should land.  And lo and behold, the cards slowly started to move in my favour.  The headhunters I spoke to didn’t really have any enticing jobs on their books and citing Brexit, the buyers pulled out of my house.  This transpired to be the perfect turn of events, as being shackled to a huge mortgage would have scuppered any financial freedom I had and forced me into finding a meaty, salaried role as soon as my gardening leave was over.  So instead of selling my house, I rented it out and reassigned my stamp duty savings into my newly formed Adventure Fund.

Then came the next big question – if I wasn’t going to get another ‘big’ job then WTF should I actually do?   I had worked pretty much non-stop for the last 23 years. And I liked working, I was good at it, I’d always had jobs I’d really enjoyed and I liked earning a lot of money and spending it. Rightly or wrongly my job was an important part of who I was a person, it defined me. So, if I didn’t have a job, then who would I be? What would I stand for? Could my ego cope with not saying ‘I’m the CMO of…’ when asked?

An old personal trainer used to really wind me up by telling me many times over that “great things never come from inside your comfort zone”.  Oddly enough I never found it helpful to hear that when I was puce with exertion, my thighs screaming doing ‘only ten more’ reps.  But, with this in mind, I consciously chose to see my redundancy as the expiration date of my old life and the turning point to set my sails on a different course for my future.   I made myself a promise, that I would live a life worth living according to what was important to me, as opposed to merely making a living.

It only took fifteen trips to the tip, ten trips and countless boxes to the charity shop to de-clutter sixteen years of stuff from my home.  But hey, I had time on my hands to do it.  At one point, every dress in the Trinity Hospice shop window was one of mine, which filled me with a mix of pride, satisfaction and a tinge of regret (damn it, I wish I’d kept that Pucci dress).

I had a digital de-clutter too and, not without a heavy heart, unsubscribed from a plethora of marketing emails.  Bye-bye Matches Fashion, Net-A-Porter and J Crew,  hello budget.

I have had one self-indulgent splurge on a fully renovated 1969 Series IIa Land Rover, called The Beast due to the fact that he’s so heavy to park.  (Toned arms, it transpires, are an added side benefit of a two and a half ton landy with no power steering.)  I did a half-day mechanic course on his internal workings – I know where he needs water, oil and can locate the manual diesel pump and battery.  And I purchased curious sounding things like a bottle jack.  (Not that I intend to use any of my new found knowledge as, much to the relief of my course teacher, I have paid for comprehensive European breakdown cover.)
The Beast, proudly sporting a black and silver GB sticker on his bottom, feels safe – he can’t go more than 60mph and is remarkably easy to drive once underway, which is handy as we’ll be driving on the wrong side of the road for most of the year.

Sophie Tiggy and the Land Rover
So where to go and what to do? First stop, Tarifa, via ferry, Santander, Salamanca and Seville.  Why Tarifa? Well, I have friends there and I’m not yet quite brave enough to go somewhere where I don’t know anyone at all.  Plus, it’s simply lovely.

For the keen cartographers amongst you, Tarifa can be found at precisely 36 degrees latitude.   It’s a beautiful, old, Moorish walled town and is the southernmost point of Continental Europe, where the Mediterranean collides with the Atlantic, and looks across the Straits of Gibraltar to Africa.  The Costa Del Crime or “No Carbs Before Marbs” scene it is absolutely not.  It gets very, very, very windy and is the kitesurfing mecca of Europe.  And conquering kitesurfing is what I’m going to do.  There is a stunning, five mile long, sandy, crescent shaped beach for walking Tiggy, the restaurants are very dog friendly and a decent glass of Rioja costs a mere two euros.

It’s Einstein who said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing, time and time again and expecting a different result.

Who am I to argue with such genius?   Making a big life change and walking away from the corporate world (particularly the salary) is a bit scary, but you know what’s even scarier?  Regret.

And what will I say now, when people ask me what I do?  Well, I’ve had six months of gardening leave to practise.  “I’m on eternity leave”, I shall reply, which is completely and utterly impossible to say without an enormous smile.
Sophie and Tiggy eternity leave
I hope you’ll enjoy reading about our adventures as much as we’ll enjoy living them.  For more pictures and fewer words, please do feel free to follow us on Instagram @sophielovespink

Love,

Sophie, Tiggy & The Beast X